Breaking Free

 
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My Story Will Sound Familiar

 

My father put me on my first diet when I was 11 years old.

It had been three years since we've seen each other and the first thing he said was “why are you so fat?” And on that day, for the first time I learned that in order to be loved and accepted, I had to be thin.

in order to be loved and accepted, I had to be thin

Do any of you remember the book Fit for Life? The theory was to become fit for life, you combine "healthy meals" like salmon, skinless chicken and vegetables with vigorous exercise.

And thus began my battle with food.

Like all diets, it initially worked, and I lost a good amount of weight. My father boasted that it was one of his success... my weight loss was his success. 

Soon after, food became the sustenance I needed to exercise day-in-and-day-out, it was no longer pleasurable like it once was.

At 11, this was an incredibly restrictive diet, it left me hungry and deprived. Feelings no one should ever have to feel, especially children.

Shortly after, my binge and punishment diet started. Sneak and stuff myself only to diet and obsessively exercise until it became a compulsive eating disorder.

Food became a source of shame and suffering. I avoided shopping, going out, and particularly anything that required being seen in a bathing suit. 

I was miserable. Numb to joy and pleasure.

Everything was filtered through my weight-numbers on a scale. By the age of 14, I weighed 180 lbs and 224 lbs by the time I turned 18.  

I cried myself to sleep many nights and feeling like a complete and utter failure and yet feeling totally helpless to stop eating.

I hated my body and honestly I just hated myself for my lack of willpower. I have been through HUNDREDS of diet plans and even (OA) overeaters anonymous.

This was my life for 19 years. To say it was a living hell would not give it enough credit.

 

 

That's not Living

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I wish I could tell you That I can remember a pivotal day that I said ENOUGH, I don’t want to live like this anymore.

Unfortunately, that was a daily ritual. It has been a very long journey of binging and deprivation cycles, desperation and lack of control over food. 

I do remember the first time that I enjoyed food again. It no longer pacified my feelings and that's when the weight came off effortlessly.

I have been free of compulsive eating, mindless eating and binge eating for over 16 years now. The scale no longer moderates my feelings and my weight does not determine my state of happiness.

I am living proof that you can love and accept yourself and lose weight. And I want you to accept and love yourself too.

I am certified in holistic health, eating psychology, studied and mastered intuitive eating.

There's no magic pill I can offer you, but my tools and proven techniques will reduce your cravings, stop dieting and you will learn to love the woman you see in the mirror.
 

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